My college journey: from hating to loving Oberlin

It's April. That means that it's time for Oberlin's poorly-named accepted students program: "All Roads Lead to Oberlin." This is probably the last year the program will have that title, mainly because you can't really tell what the program is by reading or hearing the title. Plus everyone has the habit of abbreviating it as "All Roads," which is even more vague. But that is not the point of this post. All Roads (see, I do it too) is a time where students get the chance to visit Oberlin and see if it really is where they'd like to belong. They have the opportunity to stay overnight with a student host, sit in on classes, take a(nother) tour, and chat with everyone imaginable (professors, students, admissions counselors, etc.).

Because All Roads is approaching, a few students have begun posting on the Oberlin blog about their journeys to Oberlin. Helena and Eli both work for the admissions office, so I'm not surprised that they both posted about their Oberlin journeys now. Since I'm not a blogger for Oberlin, I thought I would take the opportunity to blog on my personal blog about my journey to Oberlin.

My college search was hopelessly disjointed. If I could go back and do it all again, I probably would. I had no idea about anything: what mattered to me when looking at a school, what I wanted to study (more on this in a minute), and if I really even wanted to go to college. It was assumed, really for all of my life, that I would go to college. Both my parents went to college, my older sister was in her second year of college when I was a senior in high school, and it was assumed that my younger sister would follow after me and also go to college.

At the time, my parents were very hands-off in the process. They let me choose where I wanted to apply, where I wanted to visit, and really let me guide the whole process myself. In retrospect, this is exactly what all parents should do. However, at the time, it was extraordinarily frustrating. I had very little personal motivation in high school. Most of my decisions were made because they were expected of me or because of my horribly cynical outlook on life. For example, I took a lot of AP classes (8, to be exact), but I did it not because I wanted an academic challenge, but because I wanted to avoid classes with people who I referred to, quite bluntly, as "stupid." (Note: stupid really wasn't the right word. Unmotivated would have been a much better choice. No one, not even myself, has ever said that I was tactful in high school). I mean, I had an impressive transcript by the time I graduated, but it had nothing to do with me trying to create an impressive transcript.

So yes. I really didn't start looking colleges till after junior year. I had been involved in music for as long as I can remember (classical trumpet and classical piano) and I thought that music school might be something I should do. Hell, it's what I thought I wanted to do. So I began to craft my school list based on schools with good reputations for music. The list looked something like this:

UCLA

University of Oregon

San Francisco Conservatory

Oberlin College

Oberlin Conservatory

Eastman School of Music

University of Rochester (because of Eastman)

New England Conservatory

Peabody

Cal State, Stanislaus (my back up)

I think that's the whole list, but it's possible that I've forgotten something. I, like all music applicants, did my round of auditions, missing a week of school in February my senior year to audition for Oregon, New England, Eastman, and Oberlin. After auditioning, this is what my results looked like in late March/early April:

UCLA - rejected (I realized, after the fact, that I never sent in my transcript. Fail)

University of Oregon - accepted

San Francisco Conservatory - rejected

Oberlin College - accepted

Oberlin Conservatory - rejected

Eastman School of Music - rejected

University of Rochester - wait-listed

New England Conservatory - rejected

Peabody - rejected

Cal State, Stanislaus - accepted

UC Irvine - accepted

UC Merced - accepted

Wait a minute, I didn't apply to Irvine or Merced. Still got in. The UC system is kindof weird.

Anyway, I'd like you to take a moment and think about how I felt in April of my senior year. I was planning on being a music major. My entire high school identity was crafted around music. My extracurriculars focused on music. I literally formed a "wall of shame" in the wall in my room where I tacked up all my rejection letters. I looked at it every night before I went to sleep.

Anyway, it was decision-making time. I had no interest in UC Irivine or Merced, so I got those off my list immediately. My decision basically came down to Oberlin College or the University of Oregon. They both gave me the same amount of money (though for different reasons). The difference was that Oregon accepted me as a music major, whereas my musical prospects were questionable at Oberlin.

I don't really remember why I made the decision to go to Oberlin. Part of it was that I had friends who went to Oregon and didn't like it. Part of it was that I knew a couple people who had graduated from my high school and really liked it. And part of it was that I wanted to get the hell out of California and away from all the people in my high school. It also helped that I got an email from Tom, the admissions counselor who reads applications from the Bay Area, congratulating me and offering to answer questions. Oh, another factor. When I visited Oregon in February it was raining and cold. When I visited Oberlin, it was cold, but sunny. Foolish factor, but it was always there in the back of my mind.

So I decided on Oberlin. I decided that I could always re-audition for the Conservatory after being at Oberlin for a year. I was unwilling to give up the prospect of majoring in music and becoming a professional musician.

So to Oberlin I came. Does my story end here? It does not.

My first semester was horrible. I "no-passed" multivariable calculus (there went my dream of being a math minor) and I only took one class that I actually liked (shout out to Len Smith's first-year seminar on the French Revolution). I hated economics and US history. (Note to the reader: of my four classes that I took first semester, the only one taught by a permanent, non-visiting faculty member was my first-year seminar. Food for thought). To top it all off, I got incredibly sick at the end of the semester. Oh, I should also mention that I took piano lessons with a faculty member (Lydia Frumkin), which I enjoyed. Those 2 credits saved me from being on academic probation at the end of my first semester.

I came home for Christmas sick and morally defeated. I had to shamefully reveal my grades to my parents and I spent all of Winter Term (which I did at home) debating whether or not to return to Oberlin in January. I was miserable. I was at an all-time low in terms of my academic confidence, I was too ashamed to go talk to anyone about my struggles, and, at this point, I began to considering transferring.

I did return to Oberlin for my spring semester and, overall, had a much better experience. I liked more of my classes, met the professor who would become my academic advisor (shout out to Prof. O'Dwyer!), and declared my history major. I still had my heart set on the Conservatory, though. I re-auditioned in March and awaited my decision.

During this semester I applied to work as a tour guide. Why? Because I wanted a job. Did I think I would get the job? Not really. Did I have a great love for Oberlin? Not at the time. But I applied and interviewed and was hired. I poured myself into that job and learned everything I could. I stuck around campus for spring break and began giving tours to prospective students.

This is when I started to realize all of the good things about Oberlin. I mean, being a tour guide meant that I had to recount my experiences to prospective students and parents and, in a way, reveal what the Oberlin experience was all about. This is when I started to realize what a great place Oberlin could be. Now most tour guides apply to be tour guides because they love Oberlin. I however, did not begin to love Oberlin until I became a tour guide. Yes, it doesn't make sense, but that's how it worked.

So I gave tours all through spring break, and, to be quite honest, enjoyed the experience. To this day, being a tour guide is one of my favorite things that I do on this campus.

Then, shortly after spring break, my Conservatory rejection letter arrived in my mailbox. This almost broke my spirit. I was so excited that I would be becoming part of the double degree program, and then I was hit with a reality check. I would not be a double degree student at Oberlin. This was clear.

I actually began to fill out transfer applications during the summer after my freshman year. I didn't think that I could be entirely happy at Oberlin without being enrolled in the Conservatory. I did not, however, send any transfer applications to any schools. I don't really know what stopped me. To this day, I couldn't articulate why it is that I never decided to leave Oberlin. Part of it may have been that things started to go my way. I was adjusting to the academic intensity, had found a subject that I was becoming increasingly enthralled with (history nerd, woot!), and probably didn't want do have to meet a whole new group of people at a new school. So I stuck around.

Sophomore year my love for Oberlin started to increase. I became increasingly involved on campus, gave more and more tours, and started branching out. I, for the first time, was making an effort to embrace and become part of the Oberlin community.

Now I can't even imagine what my life would be like without Oberlin. Oberlin helped me to find an academic discipline that I love. I've never been this passionate about anything my life. I can only imagine how different my tours must be now. I have so many good stories about my experiences here that I can barely keep my tours to an hour (the length they're supposed to be). I spent all of this past summer working for the admissions office telling people how much I love it here. And the most important thing? It's true. I love Oberlin. I wouldn't be who I am today without Oberlin. Oberlin has increased my passion for almost everything. I've found new interests, rediscovered old ones, and am more devoted to academia than I've ever been.

I truly cannot imagine what my life would be like if I had transferred. I mean, I've heard enough horror stories from Brandi about the transfer process, so I can only imagine what it would have been like for me.

Oberlin has shaped me in ways that I didn't know were possible. I'm a completely different person than I was in high school. To this very day I am glad that I came to Oberlin, even if it took me a while to realize how lucky I am to be here.

<3